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Sex During the Lockdown: How COVID-19 has changed our relationships
FOCUS: Drastic changes to routine
Waking up. Having breakfast, maybe a coffee on-the-go. Taking the bus or subway and heading to work or school. And then, a drink with friends and colleagues, a game of soccer, eating out. These common actions that now seem so far away because of the restrictions placed on us to deal with the ongoing COVID pandemic.
It is the experts from the European Society for Sexual Medicine (ESSM) who have conducted an in-depth study on this topic and on the ways in which the breakdown of our routines has negatively affected our sexual and emotional lives. They say that “during the lockdown, there was an abrupt change to our routines. Children went to bed much later than normal; parents worked from home and fell asleep at the table. Weekends became more and more like workdays, and family time became practically indistinguishable from personal time”. According to the clinicians, this loss of control has had strong impacts on the sex lives of many couples. “Eating together at the table after moving a computer and calendar doesn’t make dinner feel that special. Neither does coming to bed at 4 in the morning after having fallen asleep in front of the tv instead of having come to bed together after a glass of wine with your partner.”
It is becoming more necessary, and more difficult, to keep intimate moments separated from work moments, or family obligations. This is because “losing these habits can take away our enthusiasm and the exclusivity of living the more beautiful moments of life”. Some couples succeeded in adapting their routines and helping to keep the magic in more intimate moments. However, others have been overwhelmed by the destruction of their routines and have missed those special moments. But (fortunately), experts remind us it is never too late to change. How? By reinventing a new routine that is compatible with the difficulties imposed by this life changing moment in time while safeguarding these intimate moments. It can be helpful to define schedules and places dedicated to alone time for you and your partner. But also, and this is a suggestion that is valid in all moments of life, do not forget to communicate with one another about your needs, shortcomings, and problems.HFTHQ 20-57