
Let's talk about sex
Positive relationship influences of interactive technology
Many scientific and societal debates about the use and effects of interactive technology (e.g., smartphones, internet, social networking sites) in relationships are shaped by implicit or explicit negative beliefs. Although it is important to acknowledge potential risks, we need to avoid the message that technology is only detrimental to the relationship and emphasize the positive opportunities of interactive technology for deepening the emotional bond with our partner.
In fact, there may be positive relationship contributions of interactive technologies, which is remarkable because “keeping in touch with and communicating affection to the partner” is the number one reason why people use technology to communicate with their partner. It is through social connectedness that people fulfil their basic need to belong. Hence, many couples report feeling closer to their partner using online-mediated communication or texting.
Mobile communicative technology offers tools to reassure a partner or signal continued romantic interest, cope with busy/conflicting schedules during the day, discuss practical issues, and keep partners connected while being separated. The latter is particularly convenient when having a long-distance relationship. Sending texts or emails to the partner can also assist in problem-solving because it gives more time to reflect before responding and to focus more on the content of the message without being distracted by non-verbal cues from their partner.
It is an important task of educators and clinicians to discuss both the challenges and opportunities of using technology in the relationship. They can help couples harness the positive aspects of technology, reduce problematic use, and promote more adaptive ways of integrating smartphones and social media into their relationship.
Marieke Dewitte
Assistant Professor
Section Experimental Health Psychology, Clinical Psychological Science, Departments, Faculty of Psychology and Neuroscience

Bibliographical references
You may also like
Let's talk about sex
Smartphones and social media: Relationship killers?
Interactive technologies (e.g., smartphones, internet, social networking sites) are a regular part of everyday life. Staying constantly connected to others- through email, social networks, or immediate messages - has become the new social norm, with the majority of us constantly texting and checking emails on-the-go and having incorporated several social network sites in our daily routine. The variety of applications across platforms has generated increased dependency on our mobile devices, pervading into our social life and romantic relationships.
Let's talk about sex
Idyllic presentations of relationships on social media
Interactive technology has been associated with creating relational boundary issues because there is continuous access to ex-partners/new potential romantic interests, chat boxes, cybersex, and pornography. Partners who are overly invested in social media websites may induce feelings of jealousy, envy, suspicion, surveillance, and infidelity in the other partner.
Let's talk about sex
Alternatives to traditional sex
When it comes to sex, people tend to consider intercourse. It’s easy to get trapped into thinking that sex means one course of action: foreplay, penetration, and orgasm. But there are many ways to enjoy sexual pleasure. Lots of people have desires and needs that go beyond traditional ideas of intercourse. Sometimes couples feel stuck into rigid sexual repertoires and barriers to intimacy. Also, there are many circumstances in which penetrative intercourse is not the option for sexual partners.