The key to better sex is to “live in the moment, and be present”
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The key to better sex is to “live in the moment, and be present”

Sometimes we think about what we are going to when we’re finished, other times we just want to hurry up and finish and still other times the mind wanders. And so it can be difficult to enjoy oneself and feel satisfied. And yet, to help with our sexual experiences it is important to remain in the moment, in the here and now. An approach similar to that of meditation can work.

Different research groups have found that applying certain aspects of mindfulness meditation can be beneficial even to our sex lives. Moreover, therapies based on mindfulness can even prove beneficial in the treatment of sexual troubles connected to genital pain, low sex drive and the inability to have an orgasm. This was explained in a recent study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior conducted by a group of scientists under Lori Brotto, the director of the Laboratory for Sexual Health at the University of British Columbia. The idea is that knowing how to have the mind in the present can become a regular habit of daily life.

How can one develop the ability to “live in the moment” to help improve sexual satisfaction? Laurie Mintz, in an article found in O, The Oprah Magazine Therapy, a magazine created by Oprah Winfrey and dedicated especially to women’s health, explains that one can begin while taking a shower and imagine it is the first shower ever experienced. Begin by concentrating on the sensations of your hands as the touch your skin, on the scent of the soap, on the feeling and heat of the drops of water as they run down your back. If your mind wanders, you return to simply to the here and now, to the sensations of the moment.

The same can occur as you explore your own body and your partner’s. To prevent a sense of “routine” when you are with your partner, one can try to rediscover your partner’s body through different and new movements and gestures. Think of it as if it was the first time, always remaining present to the “here and now”.

HFTHQ 20-61
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