How can a couple’s intimacy increase?

What characterizes intimacy within a couple relationship?
How close we are or feel with our partner, our intimacy, is essential to any sexual relationship.

Intimacy is characterized by:

  1. the mutual sharing of personal information,
  2. behaviors that consistently show a strong preference for each other and
  3. moments of verbal and physical affection.

Intimacy influencies, on a daily basis, erotic passion, frequency of sexual intercourse and sexual satisfaction for both men and women.
Obviously intimacy is a dynamic characteristic of the relationship, that changes or is redefined daily, not only by the couple's behaviors, but also by external factors.

What can a couple do to increase their intimacy?

  • Schedule time together (even a little) on a daily basis. Also, a few days of holiday, regularly scheduled and without obligations. This time is an ideal opportunity to show each other attention and availability.
  • Sincere communication for the purpose of sharing personal information, thoughts and emotions on a daily basis.
  • Physical expression of tenderness (without necessarily being followed by sexual intercourse) and sharing of sexual desires and needs.
  • Continuous monitoring of the evolution of the relationship, modifying habits that reduce intimacy and, above all, direct the evolution of the relationship according to the couple's priorities.


Evie Kirana, Phd, FECSM (hon), ECPS
Health psychologist- Sexologist
Executive Co-director of International Online Sexology Supervisors
Chair of the European Psycho-sexology Accreditation Committee
Member of the Executive Committee of the European Federation of Sexology
Member of the Educational Committee of the European Society for Sexual Medicine


Suggested readings

  • Rubin H, Campbell L (2011) Day-to-Day Changes in Intimacy Predict Heightened Relationship Passion, Sexual Occurrence, and Sexual Satisfaction: A Dyadic Diary Analysis. Social Psychological and Personality Science 3: 224-231.
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